Leadership Without Regret
Terrace, coffee, and my life. No trophy.
Sometimes I imagine a very simple scene. I’m sitting on a terrace. I have my coffee. I’m eating something sweet. I’m not thinking about money. I’m not tense. My family is healthy, I’m healthy. It’s calm. It’s good.
And you know what?
More and more often I think… this is not some “small vision.”
This is actually a very clear answer to the question: how do I want to live?
I got inspired by The Earned Life by Marshall Goldsmith and Mark Reiter. There’s one idea there that really stayed with me:
That a good life doesn’t actually require that much. Just that we:
live life on our own terms,
treat each day as something worth living well,
and connect what we do to something bigger than just our own ego.
Sounds simple.
In real life… not always.
Me before: nice, polite, safe
When I did one of the exercises from the book, something very honest came up about me: Nice. Polite. Responsible. Loyal. More of a home person. Stable.
And at the same time…
somewhere underneath a desire to go my own way.
The thing is, for a long time I didn’t really know how.
And other people mattered too much.
They still matter. And interestingly, I don’t want to fight that. It gives me a sense of safety. But now I see it doesn’t have to hold me back.
Because I noticed one thing:
When I do take a risk… it’s actually not that bad at the end of the day.
Every day is a separate story
I also really resonate with what Budda taught that every breath is a new “self.”
I used to treat my decisions as something final. Like something that defines me for a long time. Now I think more like this:
ok, that was a decision of the “old me.”
Today I can choose a bit differently.
It gives me a huge sense of relief. And also lightness in leadership, because I don’t have to be perfect “forever.” It’s enough to be present today.
Success doesn’t end (and that’s actually a good thing)
There’s another sentence that really hit me. Said by Phil Jackson:
“Success only matters when you have it. Then you have to get it again.”
At first I thought: seriously? 😅
But then I realized… this is just life.
There is no moment where you can say: “ok, done, I’ve achieved everything, I can stop now.” It’s a bit like breathing. And instead of stressing me out, it actually started to calm me down.
Because I don’t need to have everything figured out forever.
I just need to take care of my direction.
Decisions exhaust me (and that’s normal)
There’s also a part about how decisions drain us. And not all of them are worth our energy. And I really feel that.
Sometimes I get tired from decisions like:
what to eat,
what to wear,
whether to reply now or later.
And then I don’t have space left for the important ones. So I really like this idea:
let go of decisions that don’t matter.
Not everything has to be a “life decision.”
And this is a big shift for me in leadership it’s not about deciding everything. It’s about having energy for what truly matters.
I wrote about Esse
I don’t want to think in “either–or” anymore
Another idea that stayed with me is “removing dichotomies.” That not everything has to be:
either safety or growth
either family or career
either calm or ambition
I used to think like that for a long time. Now I see more and more that you can… combine things.
Be calm and ambitious.
Be loyal and brave.
Be yourself and still grow.
A small exercise that changes a lot
There’s also this simple exercise:
Write down your heroes and their qualities…
then cross out their names and write your own.
It’s a bit uncomfortable 😅 But powerful.
Because suddenly you stop looking “out there”…
and start taking responsibility for who you want to become.
And I come back to the terrace
At the end, I come back to that image again.
Terrace. Coffee. Calm.
I used to think this is something for “later.”
That first I need to achieve more, get somewhere, deserve it.
Now I think differently:
Maybe this is not the reward at the end.
Maybe this is the direction for today.
The Heath brothers in Made to Stick say that good ideas are simple and stay with you.
So I want to remember it like this:
A good life is not one big moment.
It’s one ordinary day – lived your way.
And maybe tomorrow… I’ll try again.
Takeaways from the book💡😎👏🏼:
Your “simple vision” is not small it’s clarity.
That terrace, coffee, calm moment? It’s not trivial. It’s a clear definition of what matters.
A good life is built daily, not someday.
You don’t arrive. You repeat. One day at a time, lived well enough.
You can be both safe and brave.
It’s not either or anymore. You’re allowed to hold stability and still take risks.
Your past self doesn’t lock your future self.
Each day (each “breath”) is a chance to choose again.
Not every decision deserves your energy.
Save your focus for what actually matters. Let the small things be easy.
Risk is often less scary in reality than in your head.
You already proved that to yourself.
You don’t need to remove people from your life to grow.
Caring about others can stay it just doesn’t have to define your limits.
Stop looking for role models “out there.”
Take what you admire… and start seeing it as yours.
Leadership is not about control. It’s about direction.
You don’t need everything figured out just know where you’re heading.
There is no trophy. And that’s the point.
The reward is being able to live your life well while you’re in it.
